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Weights and Measures - a Poem

Last update: 21 August 2019

It is common knowledge that I love receiving communications from my visitors. This week, Robert Morrice sent me this wonderful poem and has kindly allowed me to share it with you. It's titled Weights and Measures. Enjoy...

Yards are, as everyone knows,
Length from fingertip to nose
And twenty two make up a chain
But why that is I can't explain

Ten of them make one furlong
The finest horses trot along
Eight of them, the Royal mile
Somehow that makes me smile

Lovely weights of ounces troy
I mean gold so don't be coy
They use pennyweights you know
When they dig it in the snow

Silver gets the lesser claim
Even when it weighs the same
Copper, tin, and all the rest
Also treated as not blessed

Tons short or long and metric
They are silly and eccentric
Ten-dozen eggs cannot be sold
A dozen-ten eggs can I'm told

US dollars, a hundred cents
UK pounds one hundred pence
Cents are pennies so say why
Pence the name 'cent' deny

Customary American cups are C
(Standard ones are a double DD)
with large handles for a good hold
on all those sizes we are not told

They should hold themselves to blame
customary and standard not the same
tablespoons heaped and teaspoons flat
and not a dessertspoon, why is that?

Oh, but they've not got an existence
(at least in most American kitchens)
I'd rather choke on grams and mls
than drink any US Cupful of ills

Gallons, pints, fluid ounces
Every scale another trounces
Celsius, Kelvin, Fahrenheit
Only cold wakes me at night

They are wrong but metres work
Standard miles just some quirk
But miles, Nautical, never die
Arc-minutes are why, goodbye !

Written by Robert Morrice

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